SM on Jerry Springer
by Fai7hl3ss
Summary: This story wasn't written by me, but it sure was funny. Leave your review and I hope you enjoy the fic *^_^*


Hey everyone!!! This is my own Jerry Springer show that I made up!! This whole thing is  
written in script just to let you know, and I have censors, sorry I know its lame and its not  
me but this is Jerry Springer!!!! It has to do with the characters from SailorMoon. So here it is, I hope you like it.  
  
The Jerry Springer Show  
Jerry Springer: Hello everyone, and welcome to the show! Today's topic is "Don't Touch My Man!" and today we have Serena with us! Hello Serena, tell us what happened!  
  
Serena: Hello Jerry. Well I was going out with Darien and then I just found out he was cheating on me with my so called "friend" Rei! They don't know that I know though, they still think its on the "D.L"(down low)!! My friend Amy said she saw them making out in an alley behind my friend Andrew's arcade!!!!  
  
Jerry Springer: Did you believe her?  
  
Serena: Not at first but then when I would call him I would hear Rei in the background and He was so quick to hang up the phone!! I found all these love letters that he wrote to her!!!!  
  
Audience: oooooh.........  
(Serena sniffs and nodes to the audience)  
  
Jerry Springer: Okay, well lets bring out Darien and see what he has to say!!! Remember, Darien doesn't know that Serena knows that He's cheating on her!!! Come on out Darien!!!  
(Darien comes out and the audience boo's at him)  
  
Jerry Springer: Hello Darien, and welcome to the show.  
  
Darien: Hi Jerry.  
  
Jerry Springer: Okay! Serena says that you are cheating on her, is that true?  
  
Darien: What?! No! I would never cheat on her!  
  
Jerry Springer: Well thats not what Serena Says, whats your side of the story?  
  
Darien: She's just saying that because her friend Amy doesn't like me, so she always is telling lies on me to Serena!  
  
Serena: No!!!! Yeah, Amy told me, and I know she didn't mean to tell, but thats the truth, and this is the only time she told me. She doesn't hate you!!! But thats off the subject, but why when every time I call you Rei is over?! And your so quick to get off the phone??  
  
Audience: oooooh......  
  
Darien: Sure! What ever!! Your just saying that!!  
  
Serena: Then why did I see you and Rei go in a room and lock the door at Andrew's party?! Huh??!  
  
Audience: oooooh.........  
  
Darien: What?! F*** you, you stupid little b**ch!!! Yeah!! I had sex with Rei!  
(Serena trys to run after Darien but Steve calms her down)  
  
Audience: JERRY, JERRY, JERRY!!!!!!!!!!  
(Jerry calms the audience down after a while)  
  
Jerry Springer: Ooookay! Anyways!! Lets bring out Rei!!!  
(Audience claps and Serena grabs Rei by the hair and throws her into a wall. Rei gets up quickly, pissed off and runs after Serena and they start punching and cussin each other out and Steve and some other Security Guard TRYS to calm them down)  
  
Audience: STEVE, STEVE, STEVE!!!!!  
  
Serena: You stupid b****!!!  
(Rei grins at Serena and Frenchs Darien and pulls her set next to Darien's)  
  
Audience: oooooh  
  
Jerry Springer: Okay! Hello Rei and welcome to the show.  
  
Rei: Thank you Jerry!  
(Rei holds Darien's hand)  
  
Jerry Springer: Okay Serena knows that you and Darien are sleeping with each other?  
  
Rei: Yeah, I've been sleeping with him for 3 months now. Its some of the best sex I've had all year!!  
  
Jerry Springer: ...........?Okay........well whats your story?  
(Jerry crosses his arms and looks interested)  
  
Rei: Well its not my fault that Serena cries too much that Darien changes his mind and doesn't have sex with her! I saw him, and noticed how he was and I gave a "helping" hand!  
  
Serena: Shut the f*** up you little skank!! I don't always f***ing cry!!!  
(Serena gets on the edge of her seat and Steve walks behind her)  
  
Rei: Don't call me a skank!  
  
Serena: f***ing skank!! SKANK!!!!!  
(Rei gets up and punches Serena in the eye making Serena cry and Steve calms Rei down and they bring Serena back stage for some ice)  
  
Audience: JERRY, JERRY, JERRY!!!!  
  
Jerry Springer: Okay! Calm down everyone! Please calm down!!  
(Serena comes back on the stage with a bag of ice on her eye)  
  
Serena: You stupid b****!!!  
  
Rei: F*** you!! Damn slut!!!  
  
Jerry Springer: Well anyway, Rei I think you have something to tell Darien don't you?  
(Darien looks at Rei with confusion)  
  
Rei: Yes, um Darien? I'm cheating on you...............  
  
Darien: Huh?! What the f***!!!!!  
  
Rei: Yes, with Chad, but we can still go out!!!  
(Darien pulls his seat away from her)  
  
Darien: Bull s**t!! Why did you do this?!  
  
Serena: Now you know how it feels!!!!! HA!!!!  
  
Darien: Shut the f*** up!!!  
  
Jerry Springer: BUT!!! Don't YOU have something to tell Darien, Serena???  
(Serena smiles)  
  
Serena: Oh yeah!!!!!! I've been going out with Andrew for 3 months now!!!!!!!  
(Darien jumps out of his seat pissed off)  
  
Jerry Springer: Well lets bring out Chad!!!!  
(Audience claps. Darien runs after Chad and starts to push him around and Chad kicks Darien in the stomach and Steve calms them both down)  
  
Chad: Whoa! I guess Rei's Grandpa's lessons paid off!!  
  
Jerry Springer: Hello Chad and welcome to the show! Do you know why your here?  
  
Chad: Yeah!! F*** you Darien!! Rei's mine!!!  
  
Darien: I don't care, you can have the little slut!  
  
Rei: Don't call me a slut you bastard!!!  
  
Chad: Yeah! F*** you, you bastard!  
  
Jerry Springer: Well how long have you been sleeping with Rei?  
  
Chad: For like a month now.  
  
Jerry Springer: Oh. I see.........well lets bring out Andrew!! Come on out!!!!  
(Andrew comes out and brings a rose for Serena and kisses her on the cheek)  
  
Jerry Springer: Hi Andrew, and welcome to the show!  
  
Andrew: Thanks Jerry!  
  
Jerry Springer: So Andrew, have you been sleeping with Serena behind Darien's back?  
  
Andrew: Yes.  
  
Darien: You little bastard!!!  
(Darien runs after Andrew and punches him in the face and Steve calms him down)  
  
Darien: I though you were my friend! How could you do this to me?!?!?!  
  
Andrew: I just did, and I WAS your friend, not any more though...  
  
Darien: But, but, I though you was going out with Lita!!!  
(Serena looks at Andrew in shock)  
  
Jerry Springer: Yes, aren't you going out with Lita, Andrew?  
  
Serena: WHAT?!?!?!?!  
  
Andrew: yeah, I am...  
  
Jerry Springer: Well lets bring out Lita!!!  
(Lita Comes out and sits next to Andrew and says hi to Serena)  
  
Jerry Springer: Hi Lita, and welcome to the show!!  
  
Lita: Thanks Jerry.  
  
Serena: Did you know that this punk Andrew was cheating on you?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Lita: HUH?!?! With who?!?!?!  
  
Andrew: Well I was cheating on you with Serena...  
  
Serena: But I didn't know that he was going with you Lita!!  
(Lita kicks Andrew away from her and looks at Serena pissed off)  
  
Lita: Why the f*** did you cheat on me?!?!?!  
  
Andrew: I'm sorry.......  
  
Serena: F***in wimp!  
  
Jerry Springer: .....Okay.........? Oh yeah! Rei! don't you have something to tell Chad?  
(Chad looks at Rei)  
  
Rei: um............yeah..............Chad? I was cheating on you.............  
  
Chad: HUH?!?!?! With who???????  
  
Rei: um.......  
(Rei looks around nervously)  
  
Chad: With who Rei???  
  
Rei: with......with........with Mena......  
  
Chad: WHAT?!?!?!?! Your gay??? And I f***ed you!!!!!! Oh my god!!!! EWW!!!!  
  
Darien: Oh my god!!!!!! B****!!!!!!!  
(Serena starts to laugh)  
  
Rei: Shut up!  
(Serena rolls of the stage laughing and Lita laughs)  
  
Serena: Your GAY?!?! Oh my gosh!!  
  
Lita: Haha!!! I can't believe this! This is too much!!!  
  
Jerry Springer: .......okay, well lets bring out Mena!! (Mena walks on the stage and some of the guys in the audience whistles at Mena)  
  
Jerry Springer: Hello Mena, and welcome to the show.  
  
Mena: Hi Jerry!  
  
Jerry Springer: Mena, do you know that Rei is cheating on you with Chad, AND Darien??  
(Mena looks shocked)  
  
Mena: W,w,w,what?!?!  
  
Rei: Yes Mena, I am cheating on you....  
  
Chad: no, you WAS cheating on her cause, its over!  
  
Darien: Yeah, its over!!  
  
Rei: I'm sorry!  
  
Mena: I can't believe you, Rei!  
  
Serena: I can't believe that your gay, Mena...  
  
Lita: Yeah  
(Mena looks at Lita and Serena and gets embarrassed)  
  
Rei: I can't believe this is happening!!  
  
Mena: I can't believe you did this, Rei!!  
(Mena throws a chair at Rei. Chad and Darien throw their chairs at Rei)  
  
Rei: AHHH!! Stop it!!  
(Rei throws her chair at Mena but misses, and hits Lita.)  
  
Lita: Why you-  
(Lita Throws her chair at Rei)  
  
Serena: I hate you Darien!!  
(Serena throws her chair at Darien)  
  
Darien: What the-  
(Darien throws a chair at Serena but hits Andrew)  
  
Andrew: OWCH!!  
(Andrew throws his chair at Darien)  
  
Jerry: STEVE!! Stop them!!  
  
Steve: Hell nah!! I'm not gonna try to get hit by a chair!!  
(Steve looks at everyone throwing chairs at each other)  
  
Jerry: Oh my god!  
(All of a sudden, out of no where- Amy runs on stage crying)  
  
Amy: Everyone, STOP!!!!  
(everyone stops and looks at Amy and throws their chairs at her)  
  
Jerry: Theres probably no hope for these couples, and I have no advice for them. They'll just have to figure it out for them selves! Thats all the time we have for today. Tune in next time on Jerry Springer, under the topic "My mother is a billy-goat!"  
  
THE END  
  
  
  
  
(A/N: This story WASN'T written by me, but it was written by a close friend of mine, and I was almost in tears when I read it. If you would like to contact her, request it in the review and I'll give you ways to talk to her asap. Leave your reviews and I hope you found this as funny as I did *^_^* ~*Crystal*~)  
  



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